SO I've been thinking (my head hurts)

I haven't been keeping up my end of the bargain. Me writing, you reading.

I graduate FROM COLLEGE in 5 DAYS and although I will have to take my last couple classes over the summer, essentially I am done. Fatto. Fin. Gedaan. Getan. γίνοντας. сделано. Acabado. Alright, you get the picture...

My "plan" is to chronicle my life after college. I may change the title of my blog or I may let this one go and create a new one. I hope to share my experience in studying for the NCLEX (gag) and job searching...dun dun dunnnnnn

I don't know where I will end up or what my first job will be, but that's half the fun, right? right?

Stay tuned!

Sigh

Today was rough. I am exhausted.

I love my dogs

Hiro & Ichiro

Happy Valentine's Day

In making plans for this evening, I decided to stay home, cook myself dinner, and enjoy my own company. Thank goodness I don't become hostile or hormonal on this day! I did, however, see beautiful purple heirloom roses at Safeway and caught myself wishing there was someone out there who would buy me one.

As time goes by

So much has happened since my last post. I feel disappointed in myself that I can't keep up on this. Sometimes it is hard for me to type out all of the mismatched and random thoughts that come and go in my mind. Oftentimes I start writing and don't like the way it sounds so I delete it all and other times I don't feel like I can find the right words to really express myself. These past two months I have been on a very bumpy emotional roller coaster that has forced me to step out of my boundaries and then close myself back up again. More on that to come later (maybe). All the while, I have started my second to last semester of nursing school! This is both exciting and scary as H-E-double-hockey-sticks. What am I supposed to do after this? Where will I work? Who will I meet? Where will I LIVE??? If I keep this up, I am going ho have a panic attack! (I'm exhausted already).

Here's a list of things on my mind, stuff I hope to share (someday), and reminders of how good my life really is right now (although I feel like crawling into a deep dark hole-I think it is my hormones talking):
Bikram Yoga
Hau'ula, O'ahu, Hawaii
My first OB/Peds exam, monday
Chocolate
this blog
my future
living in the country
meeting my best friend
Fr. Tom leaving Portland
talking to my mom on the phone
Sending out letters in the mail
The house I am living in now and the individuals who also live in the house
music, music, music
learning to play the guitar
painting
memories
living a good, simple, healthy, happy, loving, life (with chocolate and my best friend)
I could sit here on my broken couch for the rest of the day making this list that basically describes how scattered my brain is, but alas, that exam on monday won't go away and every millisecond I sit here on my bum I become more and more guilty and panicked. Please pick me up off the couch and fix my brain! Please give me a piece of chocolate and the motivation I am lacking to get up off this sorry, smelly couch and do what I came here to do (as my parents say, school is why I am here).
pleaaseee!

All is yours

Take LORD, and receive
All my liberty, my memory,
My understanding, and my entire will,
You have given all to me.
To you, LORD, I return it.
All is yours.
Dispose of it wholly according to your will
Give me your love and your grace,
For this is enough for me.
Take LORD receive.

"Whatever course you decide upon,

there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Lately I am holding strong to this quote; My knuckles are starting to turn white and my blue veins are starting to protrude. I want so desperately to start the next chapter of my life. I know I will get there because I have to. It will come because life moves on.

I don't know what it has in store; I don't know who I will meet or where I will be living. I do know I want to get there now.