So much has happened since my last post. I feel disappointed in myself that I can't keep up on this. Sometimes it is hard for me to type out all of the mismatched and random thoughts that come and go in my mind. Oftentimes I start writing and don't like the way it sounds so I delete it all and other times I don't feel like I can find the right words to really express myself. These past two months I have been on a very bumpy emotional roller coaster that has forced me to step out of my boundaries and then close myself back up again. More on that to come later (maybe). All the while, I have started my second to last semester of nursing school! This is both exciting and scary as H-E-double-hockey-sticks. What am I supposed to do after this? Where will I work? Who will I meet? Where will I LIVE??? If I keep this up, I am going ho have a panic attack! (I'm exhausted already).
Here's a list of things on my mind, stuff I hope to share (someday), and reminders of how good my life really is right now (although I feel like crawling into a deep dark hole-I think it is my hormones talking):
Hau'ula, O'ahu, Hawaii
My first OB/Peds exam, monday
living in the country
meeting my best friend
Fr. Tom leaving Portland
talking to my mom on the phone
Sending out letters in the mail
The house I am living in now and the individuals who also live in the house
music, music, music
learning to play the guitar
living a good, simple, healthy, happy, loving, life (with chocolate and my best friend)
I could sit here on my broken couch for the rest of the day making this list that basically describes how scattered my brain is, but alas, that exam on monday won't go away and every millisecond I sit here on my bum I become more and more guilty and panicked. Please pick me up off the couch and fix my brain! Please give me a piece of chocolate and the motivation I am lacking to get up off this sorry, smelly couch and do what I came here to do (as my parents say, school is why I am here).